The Pressure of Perfection

When we were in school, we would study a subject and then be asked to pass a test. Most of us can remember the unpleasant sensation in our body around having to take an algebra test; few of us, probably, remember the quadratic equation. After you finish school, you realize life isn’t about tests anymore. Life becomes about living and being and going through each day in the pursuit of happiness. We all strive to live by the Golden Rule, “Do to others what you would like to be done to you.” Yet sometimes we forget the golden rule or get caught up in the drama around us.

Life as Practice
We only get one life to live and this is it. While this may seems a bit sad and depressing, let’s look at it another way. In a lifetime of 75 years you’ll have 2,366,820,000 seconds. During some of those seconds, you’ll remember the Golden Rule. During others, you’ll forget about the Golden Rule completely and purposely choose the opposite. The idea of life as practice is that you have the very next second to do something different. Think different, feel different, speak different, be different.

To really understand life as practice, consider this… You are thirsty so you walk into the kitchen and open the refrigerator. You’re about to grab some cool, fresh water and you spot a can of soda. As your hand is about to pick up the water, you start replaying old stories in your head. “I want a soda. Soda is bad for me. But I’ve been good lately, I deserve a treat. I am too fat. I miss soda. I’ll only have one. I love soda!” Depending on how active your mind is this little dialogue could go on for several moments. What happens next? You take a soda, pop it open and take a big long drink, quickly, so as if to pretend it didn’t happen. After you swallow the soda and begin to walk away, you grumble at yourself. You know water is better. Your body really wanted the water. You feel weak‐willed and upset with yourself. You’re still walking away, the soda still in your hand. Now you have a choice. Take another swig of soda or pour the rest of the can down the drain and go back for water?

Life as practice. You can make a different choice in this moment, too. So what if you chose the soda in the last moment? In this moment, you can choose again. And again, and again, and again. When you make a bad choice, give yourself the space to make a better one the next time. Don’t get caught up in being perfect each moment of each day. You aren’t, you won’t be and trying to pass each and every test without exception is a great way to make yourself unhappy. The idea of practice is that we keep practicing. Over and over; each moment a new moment.

What Do You Want?

The popular quest... deciding on New Year's Resolutions (NYRs). Many people spend the days between Christmas and New Year's Eve contemplating what they will resolve to do in the new year. For the record, I happen to think creating New Year's Resolutions is ill-informed. I stick by the advice in my blog from last December 28th to skip the NYRs and instead spend the time working on New Spring Resolutions. If you're intrigued, go back to 366 days ago and see if that makes more sense for you.

If you are still determined to create New Year's Resolutions with which to ring in 2011, I offer another thought... Don't resolve without intention. Huh? Yes, I know it sounds a bit silly but allow me to explain.

Many times we create our NYRs to address something we want to change in the short-term. Eat less, exercise more, stop smoking, be a better friend... blah, blah, blah. Don't get me wrong, these are all great little achievements but they hardly count as a "resolution." In order to create a Resolution (capital R and bolded), you have to understand what it is important and where you want to go in your life. When you understand your own true intentions it is much easier to make meaningful Resolutions and stick with them. Why? Because they compliment your purpose and they call you a larger view of life. Let's do it:

1. To begin, take a few moments and answer the following questions:

• What age do you want to live to?
• When you die, what do you most want people to remember about you?
• What are you passionate about?
• What do you most look forward to each day?
• Who or what makes you smile?
• Where in nature do you most like to be? (ocean, mountains, desert, etc.)

2. Now, with those answers in mind:

• Create your intentions by devoting a bit of time to list the things you intend to do with your one precious life. Be brave. Dream big!

3. And, finally, with those intentions in mind:

• Create your New Year's Resolutions for 2011. 

This little exercise will give you clarity. It will help you create meaningful Resolutions. It will give you specific goals for 2011. It will help you better see if the choices you make are moving your life forward or holding you back. 

Planning your life, and 2011, is best done with a purpose in mind. I'd love to hear from you... Please share your Resolutions with me so we can encourage others!

Don't Owe

What if we lived in a world where borrowing wasn't allowed? A society where you couldn't get something today if you had to leverage tomorrow to get it. It would be somewhat akin to cash society. Pay before you play. Pay to enter. Pay to receive. 

Initially, the idea the sprung from some unease about the national debt. I find it a little disconcerting we owe so much money as a nation. And then it started to occur to me such a "cash" policy could apply to many things. 

This clearly would be a good policy for our personal finances. Yes, we could argue having a home mortgage and car loan is almost necessary (unless of course, we had a better public transportation system and we could be mobile without our cars... a blog for another day). How much more peaceful would you be if you didn't have credit card debt to work off? 

What about a pay-in-advance system for health and wellness? Interesting... 

Let's take the meat industry, for example. An article released today said we pumped our meat with 30 million pounds of antibiotics last year. I imagine if we didn't do so, our factory farms would only be able to produce a fraction of the meat we consume. I think, perhaps, this could be a good thing. Less factory meat, less pollution, fewer health issues resulting from unhealthy meat products... We would have no choice but to explore ways to work in concert with nature to produce food. Nature = Good.

The pay upfront policy applied to how we care for our bodies: Instead of eating whatever we please and then dieting to work it off,  we only eat the amount of food our body needed to survive. If you exercise more, you would have an "allowance" to eat more food. Our current system of eat, exercise and diet means we're always playing catch up with ourselves which is pretty exhausting. If each nice long workout had the reward of our favorite treat afterwards, maybe more people would exercise. How about a points system to get food instead of a points system about our food? 

The bottom line is we could do ourselves, and each other, a huge favor by taking responsibility. We wouldn't owe ourselves, our bodies or anybody else anything. Maybe each day would actually feel like a gift if we all began to look at each day for today instead of paying the debt on yesterday.  

Gratefulness

Yes, Thanksgiving is over and thus the "day" to be thankful is behind us. You are now free to go back to your usual self and grumble about the economy, the weather, your job, etc. Need something to grumble about? Read the morning newspaper or watch the morning news. Egad.

Or.... or, you could try something new. Welcome to December 1, 2010. For the record, this is the only time, ever, that today will be December 1, 2010. Seems like something worth celebrating or, at the very least, acknowledging.

To celebrate this month and start my day with a smile, I made a list of the things I feel grateful for this morning. My love, my son, my dog, the pending birth of the newest baby in the family, frozen organic wild blueberries for breakfast, the flowers that have inexplicable bloomed on a palm-like tree in my house...

Starting the month by remembering the things I'm grateful for makes the day seem brighter. If each day seems brighter, it will actually start to feel brighter and pretty soon the news won't matter so much any more. Take a few moments and jot down 3 things you're grateful for today. Three little things can make all of the difference in the world.

Salute! Slainte! Cheers!

Happy Friday! Much has been written about the benefits of the moderate consumption of red wine. We won't bore you here with the studies... a quick web search will produce millions of results.

To partake or not to partake, that is the question. The decision? Is yours. Some people don't like red wine, some people do. Of those who do, some have a glass each day, some people only on the weekends. While a truly personal decision, there is one thing worth consideration. A 5-ounce glass of red wine has between 90 and 105 calories. And those calories, like all of them, add up.

If you choose to enjoy red wine, consider the impact on your overall calorie intake. And, while you're making those decisions, think about the other kinds of drinks you consume on a weekly basis. If you drink beverages other than water, you could be adding a great number of "empty" calories to your body. For reference, calories in 1 cup servings of:

• Hot cocoa with skim milk: 135
• Coffee (black): 2
• Cola: 136
• Grape juice: 154
• Orange juice: 105
• Pineapple juice: 132
• Tea: 2
• Tomato juice: 41 
• Water: 0

The important thing is to recognize the calories we consume as liquid. If you choose to drink something other than water, do a little research so you know the impact of your choices. Your best bet is always, always water. And, when you have something else have a little toast. A Votre Sante! 

Lunching

One of the nicest things about a weekend is the extra time you can devote to lunch. Most often, lunch on the weekends is a bit later than the normal 12 PM hour and is a more relaxed meal. Think about what you had for lunch this past weekend... did you eat at home or go out? Did you eat more or less than you typical weekday lunch? Or did you skip lunch due to a late breakfast or enjoying weekend activities?

If you have a prescribed lunch hour during the work week, it is often consumed with the task of getting lunch and too frequently is cut short due to morning meetings running late or the email devices we carry with us wherever we go.

Why not give a new lunch plan a go? For several days in a row, make and take a healthful lunch with you to work. This practice provides several benefits: less costly, easier to make more healthy choices and it saves you time. As a reward, take an actual lunch break for those few days. Go outside and get some fresh air during your lunch break. Devote at least a few minutes for a walk before you eat. Find a nice spot near some nature and sit and savor your lunch. Take a break from your electronics (you could even leave them in your office!). If you have time, take a good old fashioned book with you or spend a few minutes writing in a journal.  End your lunch with a few stretches and walk back to your office.

It may take a few days, but I think you'll find yourself both more relaxed and more energetic after this kind of lunch hour. We are more productive when we are both relaxed and energetic, so take a step away from the races of rats and enjoy!

Low Fat v. Low Carb. Is the truth finally out?

The Annals of Internal Medicine published study results which say the weight loss results of study participants on the low fat and low carb diet were essentially the same. This is good news. And this is not good news.

The facts:

• Participants were age 18 to 65 years
• BMI was between 30 to 40 (all participants were considered obese)
• People with serious medical issues (i.e., type-2 diabetes) and those with blood pressure over 140/90 were excluded
• The study ran for 2 years
• Low carb dieters consumed 20 grams of carbs for the first 12 weeks and then gradually added carbs until their weight was stable
• Low fat dieters were limited to 1200 to 1800 calories a day with 55% of calories from carbohydrate, 30% from fat, and 15% from protein
• All participants received in-person, group behavioral treatment each week for 20 weeks, the bi-weekly for 20 weeks, and then every other month for the remainder of the 2 year study
• All participants were prescribed the same amount of exercise:
• Primarily walking beginning at week 4; 4 sessions of 20 minutes each by week
• By week 19, they were doing 4 sessions of 50 minutes each week
• All participants received in-person, group behavioral treatment to include self-monitoring, stimulus control and relapse management
• Weekly for 20 weeks
• Every other week for 20 weeks
• Every other month for the remaining two years
• Participants were instructed to keep food and activity logs which were reviewed during the group sessions

This is good news because the study shows a rationale approach to weight loss which combines calorie restriction with exercise brings results. The is not good news because the study results will be used to push low carb and low fat diets instead of focusing on the real facts.

The low fat moniker has gotten a great number of people in real trouble. Some people will believe if something says "LOW FAT" on the package they can eat as much of it as they want. The reality of the success of this study is clear. Any person with a BMI between 30 and 40 (who is otherwise healthy with no medical issues) who limits their calorie intake to 1200 to 1800 calories a day and exercises for 200 minutes each week will lose weight. It almost doesn't matter what they are eating. Of course, eating whole, natural, organic and non-processed food is best. 

It will take next to no time for the people who sell both low carb and low fat diet plans to say they are proven as evidenced by a study in the Annals of Internal Medicine. Please don't be fooled by the flashy headlines. Doing the right thing, day after day, one step at a time, is your best way to achieve weight loss and long term wellness.What is the right thing? Exercise each day, eat whole, natural foods and spend your time doing things you love. 

It is not hard. It is not rocket science. And, yes, anyone can do it. 

Be.

Where is your head? No, not the question your Dad always asked you as in "What in the world were you thinking?" but more a wee inquiry if your head is currently with your body. Granted, I am assuming it is currently attached to your body otherwise you'd be having some difficulty reading this. But is your head with your body?

It could be many places at the moment. An infinite number of places, actually. It could be replaying a previous conversation, or editing a previous conversation with that nifty snippet you wish you had thought of at the time. It could be wishing you were elsewhere. Not at work. Not at home. Not in traffic. Anywhere but here. It could be writing a script for a future conversation. How you are really going to tell your boss what you really think and how your boss will then totally agree with you and give you a great promotion and raise. It could be daydreaming about all of the great things that will happen in your life once you do "something." Something is often lose weight, get married, get divorced, get a new job, retire...

We spend a great deal of our time in our disembodied head. While it can be entertaining, think about what you miss with all of this brain activity going on. A beautiful flower, a compliment from a stranger, a hug from a child, a cuddle from your dog. Too much to do, your head says, no time for any of that stuff.

If your head is elsewhere, move your body and go and find it. If you can't do that (as, let's face it, sometimes our heads are laying on the beach in Maui), gently call it back. How can you Be. well? Keep your head and your body in the same place.

3 smiles and 1 frown

Do you remember today? Did anything great happen? Anything bad? This evening when asked "How was your day?" what will you say?

All too often we get caught up in the busy-ness of our daily lives and forget about the little things. I have several friends and colleagues that wear the badge of "busy" proudly on their chest. At some point (was it in the 80s?), being busy became a competitive sport. Many people run around being more busy than the next and then actually add things to do when their busy meter falls below frantic (yes, I have been guilty of this myself).

What do we miss with all of this busy-ness? The smile from a stranger, the hug of a child, the kudos from our boss. Granted, we may miss some not so good stuff too. We stub our toe on a chair, we spill our tea onto some important papers, we hear of the misfortune of a friend or experience some for ourselves.

I contend there is something important in recognizing the good and bad in each day. Recognizing the good helps us remember to be grateful. And the good reminds us life is pretty good on this side of the grass even when we stub our toe. Sure, we'd all like to forget the bad parts of life but they do serve a purpose. The bad parts of life help us to recognize how good the good parts are. Let's face it, life would be pretty boring if everything was perfect. Remember the movie "Pleasantville?"

So here is a little experiment for you today. Near the end of the next several days, make a little list. Record four events/memories/ideas/encounters/thoughts from your day. Three of them will make you smile; one of them will make you frown. Then when someone asks you about your day, you can pick one of the smiles and share the smile. When you're feeling down and too busy to find time for fun, read your list of smiles. Then read your frowns and remember how very good life is.

Give up the badge of busy and remember to be grateful. It might just make all of the difference in the world.

Life Through a Straw

How far would we go? In our busy lives, we are forever seeking the easy answer, the fast way, the quick fix, the lottery win of millions. Somewhere along the path to find the shortest way possible to do everything in our lives, we lost something. The joy of the journey, the feeling of accomplishment. You plant some seeds in Spring and the taste of that first tomato is like nothing else. How much more of life would be that sweet if we only gave it a chance?

We are always creating new tag lines for Cybercise (really, always!). Recently, we created marketing material for our Workplace Wellness program and on the folder, used the phrase, "Wellness. On Demand." When I gave the material to a colleague he asked if he actually had to do anything other than demand wellness. He was teasing me, of course, but it made me think.

Would we, if given the chance, order one-click wellness? Click here and you are instantly healthy? No more avoiding the french fries and burgers. A pint of Ben & Jerry's every night. Sounds pretty good. Would you do it? Given our overuse of prescription medications in this country (many of which are not needed with lifestyle changes), I think most of us probably would go for it. And if we did, what would we lose in the process?

One visual sticks with me.

Would you give up the hard for life through a straw?

You Know Best

Have you ever been to the doctor's office with a complaint of a nagging pain or a strange sensation in your body? If so, your doctor probably asked you a few probing questions, he or she maybe even probed the area in question a bit, and without any definitive answer did one of three things: gave you a prescription, ordered some tests or told you to come back in a month if it wasn't any better. And, we pay for this? Yes, we do and a great deal actually.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not attacking physicians. I happen to like them, have several friends among them, and am ever grateful for the times they've kept my family members alive. We need our physicians. No doubt about it.

I do want to share a, perhaps, radical idea: you know your own body better than your doctor. Gasp! Shocking!

The concept is simple and potentially very powerful. If your body is sending you a message, stop what you're doing and listen to it. We talked about this earlier in the week, read about Your Body is Wise.

Today, on this Friday before a holiday weekend, let's take the idea one step further. Declare yourself your own Primary Care Provider. Be the one best person, in the entire world, to look out for your own health and well being. It is not always a glamorous job, but the rewards are terrific. This weekend, you can enjoy some great rewards: get some extra rest, eat some summer vegetables and go outside and play.

Happy 4th of July!

108 Gifts to Give Yourself

Since you have been reading along all week, by now you've gotten both Mother's Day and Father's Day gifts all settled. A journal for each and a list of lists to record 108 meaningful memories.

Now it is time to give yourself the same gift. The weekend is upon us so venture out to a bookstore and buy yourself a lovely journal. A sturdy one or a pretty one. One with blank pages or one with lines. Make it a meaningful selection. Afterall, it will survive well after you've left this life.


The 108 entries don't need to happen all at once. Don't put any pressure on yourself. This is your project to do at your leisure. For mine, I allowed two pages for each list. I wrote the title of the list at the top of a in pen and I've made entries on some of the lists, but in pencil. I'm aware, I may decide to change some things as time goes on. I fully plan to be in this life for at least 60 more years so I don't want to make all of my 108 entries permanent just yet (and besides, I like pencils anyway). Granted some of them are permanent... the day my son was born ranks as number one of the 5 most memorable days of my life.

I'll continue to work on my lists and am pretty certain the 10 favorite songs will be the one which will change the most. Now I'm thinking about all of the places I want to go that could be contenders for the most memorable places I've visited (Notre Dame in Paris holds a spot currently).

Most importantly, creating my list of 108 memories helps me to remember how sweet life really is. It gives me something to read if I'm having a bad day. And, I get to share the idea with others and see how much they enjoy starting the project. So, until I have an actual book published for you to buy and complete, go out and buy a journal and start your 108 Memories. When my book comes out, your friends will think you're really cool for being an early adopter.

Happy weekend!

10 Lists Amended

Yesterday, we blogged about Dee's blog on "10 Lists You Should Write Before You Die." I've been developing my lists for quite some time now and offer a few changes based on my experience. To review, here is the original list:

• 10 people who helped me most in my life
• 10 most memorable places I've visited
• 3 best things I've ever made
• 5 best days of my life
• 10 best friends I've ever had
• 5 best journeys I've ever made
• 10 things that gave me the most pleasure
• 5 best books/movies/TV series
• 5 best gifts anyone ever gave me
• 10 things I wish I had done but didn't

Dee is perhaps more reasonable than I by keeping the list of lists to 10. Since I'm not one to contain a great idea, I'm adding some lists. If you live to be 100, it would seem making a list of only 73 things leaves a great deal left unsaid. Granted, the idea is to make the list meaningful versus a yearly accounting of one's life.

At any rate, here are my suggested additions:

• 10 favorite songs
• 10 best gifts you've ever given
• 5 places you most love to be in the world
• 5 things you did and wish you hadn't
• 5 things you'd like people to remember about you

With my additions, we're up to the 15 Lists to Write Before You Die for a total of 108 entries. A lovely number, if I do say so myself. More tomorrow...

10 Lists to Write Before You Die

This blog, posted in 2008, contains a list of 10 lists you should write before you die. Kudos to Dee for a great blog that I've used several times. The 10 lists:

• 10 people who helped me most in my life
• 10 most memorable places I've visited
• 3 best things I've ever made
• 5 best days of my life
• 10 best friends I've ever had
• 5 best journeys I've ever made
• 10 things that gave me the most pleasure
• 5 best books/movies/TV series
• 5 best gifts anyone ever gave me
• 10 things I wish I had done but didn't

The original blog suggests these lists are a good exercise for those nearing the end of their life. While a great idea, I think there are several ways to build on the idea. Go to the link and read the original post (great, great stuff) and then stay tuned for my other ideas (and some fantastic stories) on the topic during the rest of this week.

A Steady Diet of Gratitude

Yesterday we talked about getting rid of any anger you may have stored up inside and dispersing any new anger coming your way. Remember --- growl and spew! I'm assuming each of you, dear readers, has followed said sage advice and has gotten rid of any residual anger. And now? Now you are hungry! All of the space inside previously full of anger is now empty and you may not be quite certain what to do.

Do not fear, there is an answer. And a good one! Gratitude. If you feel any space or void inside fill it with gratitude, I promise your days will become brighter. It is very easy and something you can do for yourself or express to others.

Some ideas.... look the cashier in the eye and say "Thanks for your help" when buying your groceries. When your barista puts your cup of coffee on the counter, give them a smile and say "You've made my day!" Give your partner/kid/pet a hug in the morning and say "I'm glad you're in my life." When you see a spring robin hopping about the yard, give him a little whistle.

To practice internal gratitude, start a list. This is not a test and not something you need to do all at once. If you have a journal, devote a page to Gratitude. Start making a list of all the things you are grateful for. Family, friends, work, sunshine, rain, pets, your favorite cozy sweater... you get the idea. Be as specific as possible. And keep adding to the list. For a great life practice, take a moment each day and add something to your gratitude list. Simple things, big things, shared things, secret things. It is your list. When you're feeling blue, read your list. When you're feeling happy, add lots of things. There are millions and millions of things to be grateful for. Fill yourself up with them.

Pretty soon, you'll feel more happy! When you feel more happy, your health will improve. Really, truly. It is simple and easy. Give it a go!